Feedback vs criticism

In the following article I’m going to present 3 powerful feedback techniques that I’ve applied and been applying till now. First of all, I will make a clear distinction between feedback and criticism.

Feedback is advice, criticism or information about how good or useful something or somebody’s work is.

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary

Criticism is remarks that say what you think is bad about someone’s work.

Longman Dictionary

Given the definitions above, one might come to the conclusion that feedback is slightly positive in meaning, while criticism has a rather negative connotation. To my mind, criticism is often an opinion about someone’s faults or bad qualities. Feedback is more facts-oriented, while in the case of criticism it’s emotions that take advantage.

Feedback techniques I apply with success

To me, positive feedback acts as a powerful motivator. The starting point is strong points upon which we want to improve some shortcomings. Hence, my suggestion is to always begin with positives in order not to demotivate. The problem is people have different sensitivity levels as to receiving feedback. Some might still take it as criticism even if we mean well. For this reason, how we give feedback is extremely important. If we focus on the bad side from the very start, and express our thoughts angrily, then it’s criticism. I will present the techniques I have been applying that make people motivated to work better. Of course, we’re talking about someone who is trying to do well.

The Sandwich = reinforce the good

The Feedback Sandwich Method, or the Sandwich for short, is my favourite way to give someone feedback. To cut a long story short, the technique has three layers like in a sandwich: a positive remark, then follows the main message (the negative one) which is again reinforced by an even more positive message. The idea behind this method is we start and finish our feedback with positive ideas. Which is to give the recipient an impression that we really mean well. I use this technique when I deal with someone emotionally unstable, aggressive, easily-annoyed or bad-tempered. Why don’t you take a look at the example: Hello Mike. The presentation you gave today was really informative and helpful for the board. Yet, I think it was too lengthy and some content could have just been skipped. Nonetheless, the way you presented it was really good!

NVC = understand yourself to understand others

“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”

Marshall Rosenberg

NCV created by Marshall Rosenberg, is one of feedback techniques that’s extremely helpful in everyday communication, especially during conflicts. It stands for non-violent communication and can be applied in every setting inlcuding a chat with your kid. NVC is kind of philosophy, the way you perceive the reality. It’s much more than just a proper set of words, body gestures. The proper attitude to create the space of understanding between you and your interlocutor is the key element.

How does NVC work?

This method makes your life more comfortable by clarifying what we observe, feel and need. It’s a communication tool that involves four steps:

  • OBSERVATION. What can I see? We observe the reality as is just like a video camera does. We want to see the things how they really are, and not what they seem to be.
  • EMOTIONS. What do I feel? We name the emotion we feel when we hear or see something. Acknowledging emotions, naming them is not an easy thing to do.
  • NEEDS. What do I need? We feel certain emotions behind which certain needs are. These needs want to be satisfied. That’s why we feel what we feel. It’s about time we understood this correlation and admit what we really feel and need.
  • REQUEST. We ask someone to meet our needs.

The bottom line is real communication begins with listening and understanding what others feel. To do so, first we need to understand ourselves. We can achieve it by recognizing and acknowledging our emotions and the needs behind them.

FUKO = focus on facts, and not emotions

Everyone has experienced a situation they were supposed to give someone feedback but didn’t know how to do it. Here’s where FUKO kicks in. That’s an acronym for Facts, Emotions, Consequences and Expactations.

Good feedback is based on facts because facts are indisputable. Opinions vary and are disputable depending on circumstances, FUKO puts stress on expressing these facts as they are and not as we see them. It’s typical of an opinion to depend on people’s interpretations of a situation. We avoid generalizations like: “You’re always late”. Rather, we say: “You were late 5 times last week”.

You express the emotions you feel because of the specific situation you experience. That way, you explain why you feel the way you feel.

You talk about the possible repercussions relating from the given situation. Here again you focus on the facts and not emotions.

You express the expectations as to the action taken.

An example of the FUKO model might look like this:

  • John, you haven’t still handed in the report I told you about last week. (FACTS)
  • I feel uncomfortable about it, as I told the boss I would submit it the week before. (EMOTIONS)
  • If we don’t hand it in, we might not get promoted. (COSEQUENCES)
  • I expect you to do so by the end of the week. (EXPECTATIONS)

Depending on the situation and people one works with, these feedback techniques can be used universally, but there is no silver bullet. In my opinion, the key is to make sure you also focus on positives as well.

English trainer; learning environment creator; Crazy about EdTech, EdDesign and work visualization tools. I apply Agile techniques in teaching, esp Scrum. Scrum and Kanban mentee. Process improver.